Category Archives: technology

“Your hard drive is most likely failing.”

That’s what Agent Mike T. just told me during our chat on geeksquad.com. Not the answer I was expecting. Especially when the question is, “Why can’t I access the iTunes store?”

The more Mike typed, the worse I felt. Phrases like “wear and tear” and “disk errors” were thrown around. I wanted to cover my laptop’s speakers so it wouldn’t have to hear the unfortunate diagnosis. Then Mike hit me and my laptop with one more blow: “But judging by the amount of RAM and the processor, this PC is over 4 years old, isn’t it?” I’m not sure what half those words mean, but I do know he put my PC in a box. The over-a-certain-age-time-to-upgrade box.

I got my laptop the summer before I started college. I remember thinking how cool it was to have my own computer. It made me feel very collegiate. Over the years I started to realize why Mac users make fun of PCs. I bitched when my computer froze and I threatened bodily harm when I had to pay $100 to clear it of viruses. But it was my computer, and I was the only one allowed to hate it. We made it through all nighters, deadlines and late night Facebook chats with cute boys. I got this computer when my life was just starting, when everything was possible and new and shiny. And now, it’s failing at a time when I feel like I’m also failing–at adulthood, at job hunting, at relationships.

I wanted to cry hot angry tears when Mike told me I needed a new hard drive. In reality, replacing a hard drive is relatively inexpensive and nothing to cry over. It just seems like things always fall apart at once. Maybe my computer felt bad because it knows how many jobs I’ve applied for (135 but who’s counting?) and it knows how stressed, tired, angry and hopeless the entire process makes me feel. So it decided to feel bad too. Misery does love company after all.

But my computer isn’t failing. It just needs a new part. Maybe all any of us can do is reboot and try again.