Tag Archives: guys

After grabbing a glass of wine here with my friend Kelsey, the conversation inevitably turned to boys, or one boy in particular. A boy who I think is the bee’s knees but who thinks I am cold. Or at least that’s what he told me a few weeks ago.  Yes, cold. As in, cold hard bitch. Granted, he didn’t exactly say that. It was something more along the lines of, “Yeah I think you’re really cool, even though you come off as cold.” Ok I admit, that still doesn’t look great.

Needless to say, I’ve hashed this over with Kelsey several times. But tonight we made progress. We somehow managed to turn a backward ass compliment like that into a full on compliment. Here’s how we did it:

Kelsey: He basically called you a bitch, but in the nicest way.
Me: So that’s progress!
Kelsey: That’s a compliment!

I’m still not sure how we did it, but I did feel a little better about it. I’m not sure what that says about me or women in general. And people wonder why women spend so much time over analyzing shit guys say. They are just so confusing. I’m cold but I’m cool but….but what!? That is the question I seem to keep turning over in my head.

The only down fall of all this over thinking is that it makes me look like a neurotic freak. If only I could be like those quirky chicks in “He’s Just Not That Into You” who make it all look cute and funny. I bet no one would ever call them cold.

My best friend Samantha is one of those girls I would hate if I wasn’t already friends with her. Half the time she’s a total scatterbrain, and the other time she’s a total sex bomb. But regardless, I love her to death. The problem is, everyone loves Samantha. Oh yes, she’s one of those girls: the girl who’s cute, funny, flirty and, in Sam’s case, totally off limits. She’s the girl who had a bunch of guy friends in college and they were all in love with her. After another night out with Samantha being the shining spotlight and me being the funny best friend sidekick, I realized something: I will never be that girl.

When I started this blog, I didn’t want to blog about boys, love or relationships. For the most part, I haven’t, but this past year my blog posts have drifted toward that wicked territory. The reason I didn’t want to blog about relationships isn’t because I didn’t want to share; it’s because I had nothing to share. I’m 22 and I’ve never had a first date. I didn’t get my first kiss until I was 17, and my last kiss was, I’m embarrassed to say, in 2008. God this feels like an AA meeting. “Hello my name is Brittany, and I have no luck with men.”

People always said, “When you start college you’ll meet lots of boys.” After four years of still not meeting boys they said, “When you get out on your own, you’ll find someone.” I’m calling bull shit on all of them. In fact I’m calling bull shit on the whole idea of soulmates, love at first sight and any other ridiculous notion that true love is just around the corner. Why can’t people just say what I already know? I’m not one of those girls who attract boys like flies to sugar. I drink strong beer and curse too much and am more comfortable talking about politics and punk rock. Boys don’t care about that, at least not the one’s I’ve met. They like girls like Samantha, or Chelsea or Lauren or Sarah. Girls who laugh at their jokes, drink light beer, and always say the right things.

So after much rambling, my point is: What’s a girl like me to do? Should I flirt more, touch more, wear less? I know I’m not the only one girl who feels like a social leper when out with their friends, and yet even they seem to have boyfriends. (Ok sorry, that was a bit self-loathing.) I’m 22, and while everyone else is busy pairing off like Noah’s Ark for 20-somethings, I feel like I’ve missed the boat (pun intended). All these years I’ve spent reading books and watching CNN and learning how to cook, I should have been playing Spin the Bottle and Seven Minutes in Heaven. If “how to be a well-rounded adult” was a course, I would get an A. But if “how to have a successful relationship” was a course, I wouldn’t even pass the prerequisite.

So what do I do if I don’t make the grade when it comes to love and relationships? Can I go back to the start? Or should I accept the fact that I’ll never be one of “those girls,” and maybe that isn’t so bad in the long run.